“We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
There’s a lot of truth to the quote above especially in relation to our sabotaging our own selves. For, in truth , whilst we tend to blame other people or bad luck for our lack of success, we are the ones standing in our own way and sabotaging ourselves much more than life, other people, or bad luck ever could. As I am being completely honest, looking back at my own life there were way too many instances when I was truly my own worst enemy. If you recognise yourself here, this is not about wallowing in self blame or shame, it's about facing up to yourself ,taking responsibility and ultimately taking control. You'll be amazed by how much easier your life would be if you weren't constantly sabotaging your success.
Here are 7 ways to slay sabotaging yourself and take control:
1. Let go of the past
Whilst it's good to learn from the past, too many of us allow mistakes from the past to convince us that we're doomed to failure in the future. The past should be used as learning material, not as a predictor of the future. Leave your past in the past and create the future you desire.
2. Be Positive
Negative input whether via ourselves or others gives you an incorrect opinion of yourself and your capabilities. If you are constantly saying negative things to yourself eventually you'll believe them. As the negative words or thoughts we hold of ourselves is ultimately more damaging than how others view or what others say to us. Ensure that your self-talk is supportive and positive.
3. Make a list of all the habits that sabotage your success
Think about what you want to be successful at and notice your habits that stand in your way. For example, if you want to lose weight, but you eat a bag of chips every time you're stressed, that habit is sabotaging your success. . Make a list of all the habits that sabotage your success writing down all the ways in which those habits inhibit your success. What is the cost of each of those habits? Being aware of the damage these habits cause can make it easier to change them.
4. Identify your fear
All self-sabotage is rooted in fear. What exactly are you afraid of? Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself? Are you afraid of finding out that you're not capable? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of how people will view you? Understand the basic fear that is causing you to sabotage yourself. Unless you can either get over that fear or remove it, you'll continue to get in your own way.
5. Know your ceiling.
Notice how far you can go before you begin sabotaging yourself. For example, perhaps you're stuck at a particular income level. What income level do you get stuck at? If you're trying to lose weight, at what point do you begin sabotaging yourself? We all have a ceiling for each part of our lives. Understand yours and seek to understand why.
6. Identify and change your beliefs.
What are the beliefs that stand in your way? For example, do you believe that you're naturally a chubby person that can never get below a certain weight? Do you believe that you can never be a successful writer because you failed high school English? Look at all of your beliefs related to the part of your life you want to be more successful in. Which of those beliefs are getting in your way?
7. Notice the people that get in your way.
Sometimes, we allow people into our lives that don't really want the best for us. You'll find that few people are truly interested in seeing you live up to your full potential.
Avoid believing that it’s acceptable to allow someone to get in your way. If they choose to be an obstacle, consider removing them from your life. The good news is that easier to control yourself than it is to control others or circumstances outside of yourself. Since you are the source of your challenges, you also have the power to eliminate them. Never underestimate how much you’re standing in your own way!
By Women Who Slay @womenwhoslay