.png)
All of us have met people who just seem to be happy most of the time. Perhaps you have assumed that these people are just naturally happy, or that they are the lucky people who have an easy life, or they had really loving parents. Most of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth.
I for one have been guilty of looking at the highlight reel of someone else’s life and wishing my life was as colourful and as vibrant as their life. By comparing my life and my experiences to that of others, I was dimming my own light and disregarding what made me great. Perhaps you too are guilty of this?
One thing I have learned about happiness and from people that are genuinely happy; is that they have made a conscious decision to be happy. Happiness is a CHOICE and we can; no matter the time or circumstance, choose to be happier with where we are and with what we have now.
Happy people are making specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. Happy people consciously choose to think and behave in ways that result in happiness. Unhappy people are unconsciously thinking and behaving in ways that create unhappiness.
Following are five of the specific choices that happy people make:
OPTIMISM
Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people choose to be pessimistic – to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in charge and open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer. Happy people realise that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that leads to manifestation. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in ways that manifest their dreams.
It all begins with a choice. You can choose to be optimistic or pessimistic. Either way, the outcome of the situation; no matter what the situation may be will all come from how YOU choose to react to the situation.
KINDNESS
Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves and others. Happy people have learned how they treat themselves and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realise that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behaviour, not the CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness is the result.
I have practiced being kind and have consciously gone about my day, smiling at a passer by, or giving a compliment to a colleague. I have almost instantaneously found that my entire mood has has been heightened, just by seeing their reaction; which is almost always a positive one. Choose to be kind, even when you don’t always feel it and reap the amazing results that come from it.
FORGIVENESS
Happy people do not harbour resentment towards others, even others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realise that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness and forgive them their hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not to take personally others’ uncaring behavior, they don’t get their feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take others’ behavior personally. Happy people recognise that another’s behavior is really about that other person, so they move into compassion toward themselves and others rather than into judgement.
Of course, forgiving isn’t always easy and may often be one choice that takes longer to action than the others. Growing up, I was often given the saying that holding a grudge or disdain for someone else in your heart is like consuming poison and expecting the other person to die. Ask yourself, who are you currently holding a grudge against right now? What good is it doing to you and what harm or effect is it having on the other person. You deserve to be happy but you will not be happy, if you do not let go of what doesn’t serve you.
ACCEPTANCE
Happy people realise what they can control and what they can’t. They live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the things they cannot change and changing the things they can. Unhappy people are constantly trying to change people and circumstances and do not accept their lack of control. As a result, they are constantly frustrated. Happy people realise they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on what they can control – their own thinking and behaviour. Acceptance of what they can and cannot control leads to happiness and inner peace.
This is a powerful part of being happy. Realising that whilst many of the things that happen within your life can be controlled, many things cannot. Choose to focus your energy on making life changing decisions about your responses and how and when you choose to action them.
GRATITUDE
Gratitude is one of the biggest and most fundamental things a person can show to heighten the happiness they feel within their lives. When you say thank you and share this thankfulness with the universe, it hears you and choose to give you more of what you are grateful for. If you in turn choose to focus your energy on what you do not want, you will get more of that.
I have practiced being kind and have consciously gone about my day, smiling at a passer by, or giving a compliment to a colleague. I have almost instantaneously found that my entire mood has has been heightened, just by seeing their reaction; which is almost always a positive one. Choose to be kind, even when you don’t always feel it and reap the amazing results that come from it.
Happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather than complaining about what they don’t have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature, the food they eat, the smile on a friend’s face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they are missing out on.
If you want to be happy, then you need to recognise that happiness is the result of your thinking and behaviour, not the cause of it. If you choose to focus on becoming conscious of what thoughts and behaviours make you feel happy, you can become a happy person – regardless of your present circumstances. Happiness does not just happen – it takes work and you are more than capable of choosing to take control of yours!
Comments