Updated: Feb 16
When Syianne and I came up with concept of #WarriorWomen we wanted to shine the light on women who were and/or are overcoming personal battles, illnesses, life-changes or any experience in general that they believe has helped them to develop as women and has enabled them to become the best versions of themselves as a result of going through these challenges.
So with that being said, meet our first Warrior Woman, Sharné Lubin. In this feature, Sharné shares her experiences of being a first-time mother and dealing with the changes her body went through in the process as well as her experiences with managing motherhood and the balance of maintaining her identity.
Read on to learn more about Sharné and find out why she is without a doubt a warrior woman....
We often see the beautiful baby showers, the gender reveals and the birth videos of thousands of women on social media. But what we don't often see is what life is like for the woman after she becomes a mother. How her body changes and the many other aspects of her life that change forever. As a mother, to a beautiful baby boy. How did you view your body before you gave birth and how did this view alter after you gave birth?
Before I had my son, I felt happy with my body. Honestly, I was the heaviest I had ever been pre-baby and had a nicely shaped body (in my opinion).
We get shown a picture of our favourite celebrities 'snapping back' and getting back into shape after giving birth, but for so many women things haven't always gone that way for them. How did your body image change after you gave birth to your son and what challenges (if any) did you face with your new body image?
I didn't feel confident, I wanted to have a perfect body like the celeb mums. After giving birth up until last year I battled with the way my stomach looked. It made me uncomfortable, I hated taking any pictures that would show my tummy, especially after eating. All I wanted to do was stay hidden and not do anything that involved me being seen.
You're a working mother and I have found from many of my friends who work that they possess a level of guilt not being home 24/7. Where do you stand on this? Has it been important for you to go back to work to ensure you stay true to your identity or are their other reasons?
When I went back to work my son was almost 8 months old and honestly I was still going through the baby blues, work became a break for me. He's still a mummy's boy so it did not impact or parent-son relationship. I only started feeling guilty when he turned 1 as he was beginning to understand more.
Going back to work allowed me to be Sharné in the daytime and Ranell's mummy at night. I needed that separation.
You are a graduate and entrepreneur who has over a period of time, launched a number of ventures. How much would you say having a child has enhanced this or hindered the progress you have wanted to make?
I have had to take a step back from my ventures as I found it hard to juggle! Now that he is 2 and able to entertain himself, I am definitely going to launch my blog again and work on other ventures from there.
You shared with me the personal battles you have had to work through with gaining stretch marks and not feeling entirely comfortable with the changes to your body soon after giving birth but how do you view things now?
Since we last discussed this, I am more confident. The way I see it, carrying my son gave me these stretch marks and I am honoured to be reminded of the life I once carried. As for the mum tum, I am trying to work it off. ( laughs).
How important do you feel that women share their 'true experiences' of what it is like to become a mother?
It is very important! If it was not for the honest people around me, I would have thought having a new born was a walk in the park! We need to make sure women understand, not all births are the same and not every baby is easy going.
I had a good labour and delivery but afterwards, I spent a lot of time crying lol ! I can laugh about it now though.
Have you come up against any other personal or professional setbacks since becoming a mother and if yes, what steps have you had to take to help you overcome them?
Mainly, flexible jobs. I was lucky enough to work in a fairly flexible company after having my son.
To find the job that I am qualified for that understands the flexibility I need has been a challenge but I keep pushing. That's how I overcome setbacks, I keep pushing!
When you become anxious or stressed, what do you turn to, to relieve this?
Therapy, walking, writing, music and most importantly my family.
What advice would you give to other first time mothers who have gone through what you have?
Ladies, it is okay to cry if you're overwhelmed, it is okay to seek therapy and it is okay to talk to someone when you feel defeated.
Most importantly, do not let Instagram make you feel like you have to be a perfect mum. Half of these public figures do not show the struggles they face as parents.
Also, the NHS has a self-referral system for talking therapies if you cannot afford private help.
What inspires and motivates you in your life and work?
My parents inspire me. Their work ethic and the love they have for each other is everything to me.
What ventures are you currently working on?
I am currently working on a blog, I want to share my journey as a mum! Besides that, I would like to relaunch my hamper business in the future.
And finally why are you a WARRIOR WOMAN?
I'm a warrior woman because I went through what I thought would be the worse time of my life and managed to pull through and be the mum my son loves, even on my worst days!
I did not let my dark moment define me.
Keep up with Sharné HERE
Feature by @women_who_slay_